27 November, 2016

Goodbye Nanna

I wrote this 5 years ago but in honour of my nan I am posting it today, as this was the day we said a farewell to nanna. Her funeral was at the same church that pop's funeral was it is the same church I was married in and all my girls where baptised as well as my granddaughter Summer.

Did I shed a tear, no I didn't, did I cry and sob sure did, after the church we went to the cemetery then back to Frank and Perla's before heading home.

There was a good turn out and I know my mum was pleased to see so many of her grandchildren there all my girls went as did all of Jeannie's children and Kelli, Sue's youngest daughter went as well. They may not have felt close to Nanna James but the went for their mothers which is the way it should be. Three or four of Uncle Ronnie's children attended I know his son Jason was unable to go.

My nan was an amazing woman she has always been known as Flo and it wasn’t until she went into the nursing home that I heard her called Florence.

My grandmother was born Florence Torrens on the 31st May 1921 in Wauchope her mother was Mary Ann Cameron and her dad was David William Torrens. She was one of 13 children her siblings where: Ethel, Irene, Trudy, Robert, William, James, Eva, Isabell, Dorrie, Mavis and Nita.

Nan was married twice her first marriage to Merve Townsend resulted in 3 children: Mavis, Ronald and Diane. On the 23rd of December 1950 in Hamilton Newcastle she married the love of her life, Ronald Francis James with whom she had a fourth child Francis.

Nan has been blessed with 15 grandchildren each of her first 3 children have had 5 children each they are as follows: Jo-Anne, Jeannie, Susan, Sandra, David, Noel, Eddie, Ashley, Shirley, Jason, Robert, Wayne, Marie, Geoffrey and Debbie.

She has many great grandchildren as well as some great great grandchildren to many for me to name here.

Unfortunately Frank and Perla have not been able to have children.

On the 17th September 1972 nan and pop was to lose a daughter with the death of Diane.

On the 4th November 2010 she lost pop.

She spent her last days in a nursing home I feel that it is a shame that more of her family did not visit her, mostly she received visits from Frank and his wife Perla and her daughter Mavis and granddaughter Jo-Anne.

I have always been close to my nan and feel blessed to be her grandchild she has always been a person to open her heart and home to all that needed her.

As a child I remember Christmas morning after getting our presents we would pile in the car and go to nan & pop's place for Christmas lunch, nan would had been up for hours cooking and you could smell the food when you arrived it was always a hot cooked lunch.

As a teenager I spent a lot of time with my nan, I use to go and help her clean a dental surgery in town 3 days a week and I remember spending other times at their house, I had my own room there.

During the last couple of weeks of her life my Aunt Perla was with her most of the day and all night leaving in the morning to go home shower, eat and head back. The night/morning she passed away both Frank and Perla were with her she died at around 4.40am on the 19th November 2016.


We will miss you nan, but you are at peace and with pop, Ronnie and Diane now.







31 October, 2016

October


Hello all well October has come to an end with my baby brother turning 38, seems only yesterday that I was changing his nappy and helping mum take care of him and my baby sister Sandra who turned 39 a couple of weeks back. To be honest I remember spending more time with Sandra as a baby then Dave, I use to take Sandra into my room while I listen to very loud music and when I would just sit in my room and read. Sandy also would come and get into bed with me during the night or first thing of a morning.

October also saw my dad turn 74 and my sister Sue turn 48 damn we are all aging but getting older is ok it is better then being dead and not getting any older.

Tim has been annoying the hell out of me at times recently with all the complaining about how much money I spend on gifts for the family at Christmas and birthdays he keeps going on about cutting back and not giving gifts to my nieces and nephews, now I only give to the young ones not the nieces and nephews who are all grown. I am talking about Dave's children and Sandra's daughters who are very young they are the ones I buy for.

I buy a lot of gifts from clearance lines and online from Groupon or My Deal sites and I also get some gifts from Chrisco or Hamper King which I pay off during the year and Tim goes on and on about what I buy from them as well although last year I didn't order much at all so he should be happy but that said he will complain when or if I have to ask him for money to get stuff it will be why do we really have to haven't you spent enough and we can't afford it.

This month also saw Natasha move out of our home after a fight with he dad, she is now renting a place about 5.10 minutes from us I hope she is happier, I think she will be and I hope Blain is happier and that it is just him and his mum that is what Blain wants.

Tim and I will be going away in the caravan in a couple of weeks this time we are going to Port Macquarie again for only two nights.

At the end of the week I am going my brother's place to dog/house sit for him while they go away for week.


Today is Halloween but not for me as I don't do Halloween, my daughters and grandchildren do but that is ok for me it was not a thing when I was a child or even when my daughters were children to me it is not an Australian thing it is something the stores here have adopted to make more money. 

06 October, 2016

September 2016


Hello everyone here I am doing a post for September and yes I know it is October but what the hell, let me tell you about September of course there were birthdays during the month Kathy-Lee had a birthday as did Hayley and Denni and of course it was mine and Tim's wedding anniversary we did nothing as Tim had to work.

Although at the end of the month Tim and I managed to get away in our caravan for the first time, we went to Foster for 3 nights and it was great although at one point Tim complained about how much he had to open his wallet as being the first time we went away we realised there was a lot of things that we needed that we didn't have, such a a jug, toasted sandwich maker a toaster oven and a bunch of little things as well. The main thing was a small television that was $199 and $19 for rabbit ears.

Just before we left Tim had problems starting his motorbike and bought a new battery for it but when we got home we realised that wasn't the problem as it still won't start so it has to be towed to Inskip at Toronto to be looked at, he rang the NRMA and put the bike on his roadside assist and paid the extra to have it towed but there has been nothing but dramas and many phone calls to the NRMA about the bike.

The first day they turned up too late in the afternoon so had to be reschedule for the following morning, to top it off the NRMA will not come onto the property to pick up the tow so Tim had to push the bike up the driveway and he left it at the top of the driveway overnight this I was worried about but Tim said it was locked and should be ok.

Well yesterday when the towie arrived he at first backed the tow-truck down the driveway to pick up the keys and then he tried to unlock it with the key to the screen-door and then when I said it was the wrong key and I thought it was one of the large keys he said no they would not go into the lock so Tim and I thought he was an idiot.

So when Tim gets home from work yesterday afternoon he tired to unlock the bike but it wouldn't unlock now he thinks that someone tried to steal the bike the night before and last night when the NRMA was trying to unlock the bike they broke the key in the lock all in all he was in a foul mood over it and I told him I understood but please don't have a tone with me not my fault.



So today he has arranged for a locksmith to come and look at the bike this afternoon so we will see what happens, at the moment I have no car and tomorrow I guess I will have to drive him to work in the morning before going shopping and over to the Royal to see the diabetic doctor, which I would rather not do as he goes on about my weight and having weight loss surgery which I don't want to do.

08 August, 2016

July and August

Well we are into the first week of August so I am doing a recap of July, as well as a August post because I forgot to do a July post why I don't know I just did.

Anyway July saw Tim and I going to Tasmania for a short break, and it was cold as all shit there, not that shit is cold it is hot in fact or at least warm as it comes from a nice warm body just saying.

July also saw my sister Jeannie have another birthday, as did my bro in-law Ed and niece Tina, although when Jeannie had her birthday I was in Tassie so she only got her present last week this is because when I came home I forgot to take her present with me to breakfast on the Friday

I also saw the specialist about my tremor, he told me it was a functional tremor and that it is caused by stress and that nothing much can be done except learning how to control my stress levels. He did say he would have a chat to the movement disorders doctors to see if they agreed with him. Have to say this made me annoyed as I do not think stress is the cause of the tremor there must be another cause, as for relaxation techniques I have learnt a few over the years and I do the breathing technique most days and it does help if the hand is shaking a lot and I am feeling somewhat tense but it doesn't stop it, it only settles it a little.

I still get the tremor in my leg it happens in both legs but mostly the left leg this is not something that others can see though, my brother Dave asked me yesterday if I always know my hand is shaking and the answer to that is no I don't many times I am unaware of the shaking as it shakes most of the time now days.

The last few weeks has seen me wearing my hearing aids pretty much every day now, I even wore them when I went shopping last Friday that is the first time I have done that for years.

Now onto the start of August this has seen three birthdays already with Kayla then Tom and Landon, yesterday at mum & dad's we had a birthday cake for Landon, his mum Michelle bought the cake and what a large cake it was far too big but it was a nice cake I brought home some for the boys and myself oh and Natasha as well.

I have also sent an email to Dr Murray about Leo I am wondering if there is some kinda anger management he can try to help him control his temp, she has said that we will discuss it when we see her and that maybe he will have to see a psychologist. I would like something done as I am worried about him, when he gets angry he throws things around and he is very augmentative when he is upset and can't get that he shouldn't back chat and argue with his elders.


Well that is it for this post........................ 

26 June, 2016

June 2016


Hello June or should that read goodbye June since June is all but over, I know my bad as per usual. I think I will do these posts at the end of the month instead of at the start of a month.

Anyway what happened in June well mum, dad, me and Tim went on a cruise to Fiji and it was bloody wonderful, we all had a great time the weather was lovely not too hot but it was a bit cool on the ship inside outside near the pool it was not just warm but hot but not overly hot or that humid all in all the weather was good.

Mum and dad did get off the ship a few times, and had a good time mum even went ashore at Port Denarau via tender, a tender is a small boat that takes you from the ship to the port or island where the ship is unable to dock. I think at first mum was worried about how she would get on and off the tender but when she gave it a try she was ok and didn't really have that much trouble getting on and off, she had trouble though getting on and off the bus for our sightseeing tour at Suva but then so did I it wasn't the easiest bus to get on and off.

Dave and Leigh drove us to White Bay to get on the ship for the cruise and picked us up again at Circular Quay when we returned home after the cruise for this we all were so grateful. I bought Leigh a sarong to say thank you, and I know that mum also bought her a sarong to say thank you, Leigh has the figure to wear a sarong unlike me I am far to big to wear one. Hell one wouldn't even go around my body.

When I returned home from the cruise I picked Leo up from school that afternoon and he was so excited to see me and then papa he gave me lots of hugs and kisses and told me over and over how much he loved me and how much he missed me. I missed all my grandchildren so much and often on the cruise I would see a child who would remind me of one of my grandchildren.

I also returned home to find that the photos I had removed from the walls that Natasha was going to replace in a better order for me were and still are not back on the wall as I write this and I am somewhat annoyed that they are not back on the walls as it is not something I can do easy. I have asked Tim and Natasha to replace them and they say they will but who knows when. Natasha said she wanted the walls painted before they went back up but I don't care about that I really don't care if the walls are painted or not.


Also this month Jessica aka my special girl turned 27 and she was annoyed that we were not home for her birthday but it isn't like she is a child or anything.

24 May, 2016

May 2016

Well May is just about over and I yet again forgot to write a May post but better late then never I guess.

So May saw Mother's Day and what a good Mother's Day it was I got some nice presents, and had a good day as did my mum and my girls I think had a good day as well. I spent the morning cooking. I did a full cooked breakfast for the family, bacon, eggs, hash browns, piclets, croissants and sausages.

After breakfast well a couple of hours later Tim and I went over to my parents place for lunch we had Henny Penny

Last week Tim decided to switch us to the NBN and we set it up Thursday night and have had no internet since, of course on Friday hundreds of thousands of people had no internet and that was why we where told we had none, maybe the fault is still the reason we have no internet but it is both frustrating and ok, doesn't hurt to be unplugged for a day or two but at the same time it is so frustrating. Tim will ring Telstra again when he finishes watching his movie, my daughter Kathy-Lee has been without internet for 9 days now not sure why hers is down but she was told yesterday that it will be back by the 23rd which is tomorrow so she is hoping it is, as Michael needs the internet for his business.

While we are away Natasha wants to re-organise the photos on my walls, she has been nagging me to take them down so she can rearrange them in a better order and she told me any she doesn't like she will not be putting back up. I can tell you that I will be pissed if she doesn't put up most of them ad I like my photos it is who I am.

Speaking on Natasha she has recently been having a bitch to her friends about how my house is always messy and I have too many photos on the walls and also she doesn't like that I have stuff animals on my walls and was annoyed that they said it's her house she can have things on her walls if she wants too, so she then had a bitch to Blain's dad and he said it's your mothers house she can have whatever she wants on the walls and if it's not clean enough for you than you clean it but it's your parents house and if they are happy then that is all that matters. She was expecting people to agree with her not side with me, so it came as a bit of a shock when they didn't agree with her.

Of course May saw my beautiful niece Kirsty marry her partner Jacob although on the day it rained so they had to move the wedding from the beach to the church. I sent a present up with Jono and Kelli and I dog sat for Dave and Leigh while they went to the wedding in place of mum and dad.

Blain had a great time in Queensland with his father and Kelli and said the wedding was nice he liked the house they were staying in as it had a games room and Kelli's sister Heather and her husband Paul where staying there too so there were other kids to play with as Heather has three children and of course Kelli and Jono have a son Daemon who is Blain's little brother. All in all there was5 children in the house.

I had to go and get an injection into my lower back to help with the pain I have, it has helped as the pain is bad and many days I can't stand or sit for any length of time, ok in fact standing is something I manage for only a few minutes at a time, I can sit for longer but even sitting causes a lot of pain lately.

Kathy-Lee has been coming over to iron her father's work clothes, Tim asked me why she did that as I am able to iron his clothes if I sit down, I said because she wants to help me and what is the harm in letting her if it makes her feel good. She has been coming to help me with my weekly shopping at first I didn't think I needed her help but I was wrong I do need it last Friday I was so glad she was with me as I was in a lot of pain and oh so tired that I couldn't have managed without her help. 

Tim and I along with my parents are going on a cruise at the end of the month it is a 14 night cruise to Fiji, this will be mine and Tim's second cruise but it is mum and dad's first cruise both mum and I are excited and mum said dad is even acting like he is excited about the cruise.

Dad because of his health is unable to fly well he is unwilling to risk flying as he would need to get medical clearance to fly before hand and on the day of the flight if he doesn't appear well to staff he may need to get clearance again from the airlines doctor to fly.

A cruise however, is better as he doesn't have to worried about pressurised cabins and if he needs to rest he can go to his cabin and have a lay down and he is taking the oxygen thing to use if he becomes too short of breath.

Dad and mum didn't have any interest in visiting other countries when dad retired in 2001, it is only been in the last 3 years that dad has said a number of times he would like to go overseas but of course with his health that is easier said then done as when he is really unwell he worries about how he would cope that is why I suggested a cruise and if he likes it and want to they might be able to take another cruise to say New Zealand sometime in the future we will see what he thinks after this cruise.

Tim wasn't that interested in a cruise till we went on one back in 2010 and he only agree to go on one because he loves me and he knew it was something I wanted to do and what did he discover he liked the cruise a lot. He really enjoyed himself and that is why he was willing to go on another cruise this time with mum and dad. In fact I remember on our last cruise he said that the next time we went on a cruise we should get mum and dad to come with us.

We have taken many holidays over the years with my parents, all of them we have enjoyed a lot some of the best holidays we have had were with mum and dad.

Leo has indeed mastered riding his bike, he loves riding it, however, Blain isn't even willing to try and learn to ride the bike his mum bought him she was willing to help him and even went and bought him training wheels because he asked her to do so. He tried to ride it but got scared and wouldn't try again, so she is somewhat annoyed with him, Leo keeps telling him it's not that hard and he has training wheels so he shouldn't fall off, Leo learnt in only a few hours and mastered it in a few days of riding it every chance he got.

When my girls were in school we bought them so cheap mobile phones and they loved having one they could only ring us if they needed us and they had to answer if we rang them which they did it was a weight off my mind while they were going to a friends house.



18 April, 2016

April 2016

Well April is half over and I am at last remembering to do a post here, what has happened this month so far well Dawson turned 17 on the first of the month and Tyler turned 22 last Friday but what else let me think.

Ok the first school term came to an end along with daylight savings, we have had Blain for the first week of the school holidays and he will be with his dad for the second week and then just as school goes back he will be going with his dad and Kelli to Queensland for a week for Kirsty's wedding.

Yes Kirsty is getting married to Jacob, I will not be going as we were not invited she had to keep numbers down due to cost, I however, will be dog sitting for Dave while he and Leigh go to the wedding they are going in mum & dad's place as dad isn't well enough to make such a trip. There is no way dad could drive that far and mum isn't up to driving long distances either in fact I think too many hours in a car would be bad for dad.

We have had some problems with Blain & Leo and attitude and lying Blain has attitude and Leo still has a lying problem although both boys are improving slowly. Natasha has laid down the law to both of them and has in fact lost it with them both a few times in the last few weeks due to the attitude we have from them.

Also just before school broke up there was a problem with Leo getting bullied by some of Blain's friends they pulled his legs out from under him causing him to fall backwards and hit his head on the cement this happened because Leo had called one of the friends names a few weeks before hand and the kid wanted to get back at Leo. Blain did nothing to help his cousin because he said he was scared they would hurt him if he tried to stop them. So we have told Leo he isn't allow to go to Blain's friends place in the afternoon after school. I was so annoyed by the whole thing with Leo that I contacted the school via Facebook and the principal said she would ring me but I am still waiting when school goes back I will go to the school and speak to her.

Oddly enough during the last week of the school holidays Blain has only been to his friends place once he has just not been interested in going to hang out with them.

Dad's health isn't that good mum worries about him a lot he spends so much of the night coughing and that keeps him awake and at times keeps mum awake.

I am worried about Tim as he is so angry a lot lately and yesterday Natasha and I had a talk to him telling him that we believe he is depressed, he wanted to know why we thought that and we told him he is always thinking negative thoughts and when we say something to him he hears negative stuff and thinks he doesn't matter and doesn't want to be around the family as he feels he is always the bad guy always in the wrong and never happy he says he can't see the point in being happy. He takes everything personally and always things we are attacking him and putting him down and never support him in anything.

Now about me I saw the specialist again about my tremor still no answers on a different medication which hasn't done much as yet but I have increased it again to 1 full tablet twice a day and we will see how that helps, as I write this my right thigh is shaking a lot that has been happening a lot more lately.

Walking is some days ok some days not ok, some days I really struggle with the balance and the back pain shooting through my back and I am often so very exhausted by the time I get home but I an sticking with it as it is suppose to be good for ones health.

My blood glucose levels are not the best but often that is because I am eating and drinking the wrong stuff I know it and it is something I have to change and I will but right now it is a struggle. I do not want to see anyone or talk to anyone about it because I don't I can't give a reason why I just don't.

There are days when I feel life is a struggle, I do worry about my tremor and balance problems, I worry about becoming a burden to my family, I have good days and bad days sometimes there seems to be more bad days then good days which is upsetting.

That said I am glad that I have Natasha and Blain living here and that I see my other daughters and grandchildren as much as I do, I love having Leo around a lot they make living good, it is for them that I keep trying.

Granted I don't want them to know how bad some days are and some might wonder why I would write about how bad it can be here but guess what they don't read this so they will not know.